Infidelity

The rays of night lamp were falling on her face.

She was in deep sleep.

Her face had a childlike innocence.

Calm, serene, pure.

She was smiling in sleep.

Probably she was dreaming.

She looked almost divine

Was this the effect of the light falling on her?

I once again opened the crumpled piece of paper

which I had snatched from Damu

just when he was going to deliver it to our neighbor.

"Dear Nik ,

M is going on tour.

Won't be back before midnight.

Come tomorrow at 9 when rishi will be in school.

Yours P"

I once again looked at her face.

Should I believe her face

Or this moist crumpled piece of paper?

I tore the paper and started packing my briefcase for tomorrow's tour.

Mist - can Kill, can save

It was getting dark.
All ten of us had just took off for our evening sortie.
I was flying highest of all.
Suddenly I noticed a grey mist surrounding them.
I saw them loosing control and falling flat on ground.
I tried to zoom faster to get away from the mist,
but it came nearer. I had this choking sensation.
I looked below and saw this lady waving a red-black can emitting this deadly mist.
I could barely read the letters written on the can H.. I.. T.........
.
.
He was gasping for air when I saw him.
His face was blue.
He was looking at me in desperation.
I knew I had to act fast.
I started searching frantically in the drawers.
At last I found the can of asthalin.
One puff and the white pure mist filled his nostrils.
Moments later he was smiling again.

wings

chirp chirp chirp

Flutter flutter flutter

thud..........

I closed my novel

and turned around.

lying on the ground

was a small sparrow

pink, fragile, tender

all skin, no feather.

she looked at me

tears in her eyes,

(or was it my imagination?)

I picked her up

on my palm.

She streched her arms

trying to fly

away to her nest

but.....alas

there were no feathers

on her juvenile wings

Why should I worship God

"God Fearing", that's what we call people who believe in God.
But is it really the fear of God that drives people to believe in God. Should we worship God just out of fear. Fear that He can Harm us if we don't believe in Him. Fear that some bad thing will happen to us or our near ones if we don't worship. I have heard certain "vrat katha's" where it is being told that so and so showed disrespect to the God and by the next evening he lost all his family and wealth, he didn't eat prasad after the vrat katha and next day he was falsely implicated in a robbery and was arrested, subsequently when he repented, the king had a dream that this man is innocent and should be released. The moral of every vrat katha is that those who do not believe will be ruined, so one must believe in God.
I have always believed in God, not out of fear but because of my upbringing in a religious family. God is our guardian, tvamev maataa ch pita tvamev, I was told. Why fear Him who is my mother and father too, brother and friend too. So I beleived in Him without any fear. I had full faith in His ability to take care of me while I performed my duties towards my family and my society religiously. There had been periods of disbelief like when my dad passed away while he was alone , away on an office tour. I lost faith in God, asking Him why this happened to me even when I always prayed and followed His path . But these periods of disbelief were shortlived, and soon I started visiting temples and keeping my weekly fasts. My regaining of faith was not out of any fear, but because of accepting things as my Fate.
But now, after so many years, I feel that it doesn't matter whether one worships Him or not.I have been religious all my life, never harming any one, and am still struggling to make ends meet, while there are my friends who have risen on the social ladder to great heights by hook or by crook. I have seen people committing all sorts of sin and rising in all fields of life despite God. And I have seen people dedicating their life to the selfless service of mankind, and suffering the whole life. There is no God to punish the sinners and to help the pious. Its all in your mind. If your conscience allows, you can do whatever you feel like. There is no one to fear except your own conscience . God is only a myth created in your mind to restrict you to a set pattern of behavior approved by the society. One can rise or one can fall depending on his deeds. Whether he cares for God or His believers is immaterial.
So I ask myself , Why should I worship God?

Should I Write

I read Ashok's Blog today. Since then I am thinking that I should also write. I have so many ideas churning inside my mind. All I 'll have to do is write all that, or rather type on my keyboard. How easy it is. In fact I have the talent. Its just that I am lazy. Several times I have felt so strongly for (or against) certain issues that I think of writing to the editor of the TOI. I have my points and counter points arguing in my mind. I sit and arrange all and start to write. But then I think why am I writing . Who will read my views? Will it have any impact on him? or whether my article will be published or not. And that's the end of the writer in me. I simply put away the notebook and go to sleep. And with me goes to sleep all those thoughts which if written and shared may have made some impact.